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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me being her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an audience. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the work we make together can get us: an opening. I understand not everyone likes being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal videographer, but friends help each other in small ways. My assumption was recording a clip now and then would be enjoyable for her. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value our friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She must to honor her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some authentic memories, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?